Raiders Round-Up Week 1: "Desperation is a Stinky Cologne"

There is something so magical about week 1 in the NFL. Sitting on the couch with our liter of cola, watching our favorite teams get ready for another magical season. As fans, we’re bright eyed and hopeful for what the future holds, and the most optimistic of us are even looking up hotel prices in Las Vegas for the second weekend in February (spoiler alert: they’re outrageous).

 

However, all of that can change as quickly as the opening kickoff, and for the Raiders, the worst case scenario ALMOST happened. Harking back to his Super Bowl shenanigans, Sean Peyton thought it would be cheeky and fun to start with a sneaky onside kick to start the season. The Broncos recovered the ball, but fortunately for the Raiders, Broncos CB Tremon Smith touched the ball early, so the recovery didn’t count. The Raiders, to their credit, were able to take advantage of the mistake and drive the short field for a Jimmy Garoppolo-to-Jakobi Myers TD and took a quick 7-0 lead.

 

However, when Denver got the ball for the first time, it looked like the Raiders secondary had gotten into a bag of Johnny Chimpo’s finest. They were slow, out of place, and the Broncos methodically went the length of the field and scored a touchdown. Again, fortune smiled on the Raiders as Denver kicker Wil Lutz missed the extra point and the Raiders held on to a 7-6 lead. 

 

The Raiders tacked on a field goal on the next drive for a 10-6 lead, and even the deepest skeptics were starting to believe our crap would turn purple and smell like rainbow sherbert. We can do no wrong! Until…we do a bunch of stuff wrong. The Silver & Black’s offense was stifled after that, and the half ended with The Broncos going 75 yards and scoring a touchdown to take a 13-10 lead at the half. 

 

The Raiders’ good luck showed back up in the 3rd quarter as Wil Lutz missed yet another kick, this time a 55 yard field goal attempt. You know, there was a time when the Broncos would take a guy like Lutz in the back and beat him with a hose, but now they’ve got their gosh darn unions.  On the ensuing drive, the Raiders marched down to the goal line and a 17-13 lead seemed inevitable, until Jimmy Garoppolo did what Jimmy Garoppolo does, and threw a bonehead interception in the end zone. All the momentum Las Vegas just built had vanished, and we were now expecting the worst, still down 13-10

 

Vegas’ secondary continued to struggle, with pass interference calls and blown coverages throughout, the defense looked more confused than a tour de france biker showing up at a motorcycle rally. The Broncos drove the length of the field again, but this time the Red Zone defense stepped up and forced another field goal attempt out of Lutz. This time, Lutz was able to convert the chip shot and the Broncos extended their lead to 16-10 with less than nine minutes left in the game.

 

For as poorly as Garoppolo ended the last drive, he turned things around and hit a few excellent passes to Davonte Adams and Austin Hooper. That, along with a roughing the passer penalty by Denver, set the Raiders up in great position, and Jimmy G hit Jakobi Myers for their second touchdown connection of the day! With 6:34 left to play, Las Vegas was holding on to a 17-16 lead, and the Silver and Black faithful were getting antsy in their pantsy.

 

In years past, this is where the aforementioned horrible secondary would blow the game for the Raiders. Russell Wilson would shatter our dreams, lighting our country music award on fire in front of everybody, and we’d go home with our tail between our legs. However, this year (at least, this week), things were different. The secondary that played so poorly on earlier drives showed up and forced the Broncos to the only 3-and-out of the afternoon. 

 

Now was the chance to put the game on ice. The Raiders should have been facing a short fourth down at midfield, but a nasty hit that knocked Jakobi Myers out of the game was deemed unnecessary roughness, and the Raiders’ drive continued due to the penalty. After the Broncos had spent their timeouts, and the two minute warning had passed, the Silver & Black needed one final first down to put the game away. Each play was enhance…enhance…enhancing the Raiders chances of success. Finally, facing a 3rd and 7, Jimmy Garoppolo did what Jimmy Garoppolo DOESN’T do, and scrambled for a game-clinching 8 yard run. Three knees later, The Raiders survived a desperate and ugly game and escaped the Mile High City with a 17-16 victory!

 

*author’s note* There are a lot of Super Troopers references in this article, so if you haven’t seen the movie, and something in here didn’t make sense to you, that’s probably why. Also, go watch Super Troopers tonight.